


Kissing on the Kitchen Floor

by silentghosts, thatfamoushappyending (betsytheoven)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, So much kissing, Spin the Bottle, kisssing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-04-30 08:22:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5156819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentghosts/pseuds/silentghosts, https://archiveofourown.org/users/betsytheoven/pseuds/thatfamoushappyending
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dex never thought it would happen like this. Then again Dex never thought he would kiss a boy at all. Yet here he was sitting on the beer stained floor of the Haus, lips tingling because that was a thing that just happened.</p><p>AKA - The spin the bottle rare pairs multishipping fic that no one asked for but you got anyway</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kissing on the Kitchen Floor

**Author's Note:**

> Drink Responsibly Children. 
> 
> (Also, we are so sorry for this)(we’re really not but just pretend we are)(I am sorry -kim)
> 
> Also a big thank you to hannah and idril for making sense of this,
> 
> LINK TO THE ZINE

For once, it was just a small Haus party. The regular Haus-goers were across the street at the lacrosse dump for the Annual LAX Kickoff Party, so it was just a handful of members from the team and other acquaintances hanging around the Haus on a chilly Friday night.

 

So of course, the only option was to play Kiss or Dare.

 

With the gross couch pushed back against the wall, everyone was huddled in a circle around an empty beer bottle turned on its side. Shitty had chugged his beer and jokingly thrown the bottle down on the ground, where it had slid into a perfect spin. Ransom and Holster immediately dropped to the ground and yelled, “SPIN THE BOTTLE!”

 

Twenty minutes in, Dex had escaped having to kiss anyone by some spin of luck. Ransom had been the first victim of the night, when he had to choose between planting one on Jack or telling the story of the raccoon in the attic. Instead of explaining the raccoon he grabbed Jack’s face, stared deeply into his eyes and said, “For Canada!”

 

Not five minutes later, Shitty got another shot at uncovering the truth behind the Raccoon Story when it was Holster’s turn. However, instead of revealing what was apparently a to-the-grave secret, he opted to straddle Bitty and push him into the wall he was leaning against for a solid two minutes before Lardo pulled him off with a head pat, whoops and sniggers echoing around the room at the sight of Bitty’s swollen lips.

 

When it was Chowder’s chance to spin, he landed on Lardo and had to choose between insulting Jack or kissing her. The poor kid’s face flooded red at the mere idea of insulting his idol, but Farmer was leaning on him and the last thing he wanted to do was risk this new relationship with her. With a soft chuckle, Farmer patted Chowder’s shoulder and smiled.

 

“Hey, breathe. If you had to kiss anyone, at least it’s Lardo, right? Hottest member of the team, after you, Chris.”

 

Chowder still wavered a bit, before gingerly moving across the circle to place a chaste, close-lipped kiss on Lardo, who smiled a bit despite the awkward kiss. With a soft sigh, Farmer looked slyly to the side while pushing Chowder’s head forward, toppling them over into an awkward tangle of limbs.

 

“It’s always a mess with you goalies.” Lardo chuckled before pulling Chowder into a real kiss to the chorus of Shitty’s wolf-whistles in the background.

 

Chowder stumbled back over to the other side of the circle, hair properly mussed and a slight tinge still decorating his cheeks. After plopping down on the ground, Farmer pulled Chowder in for a soft peck, catching Lardo’s eye as she winked at her.

 

However, Dex’s luck had to come to an end at some point.

 

Shitty got his turn with the bottle and dramatically set it into a spin. Dex rolled his eyes a bit at the antics, but still held his breath like he did every other time the bottle spun. It wasn’t that he didn’t like his teammates, and the tiny crush he sort of had on Bitty had kind of shot the gay thing out of the water. He just didn’t necessarily want to be acquainted with the inside of their mouths.

 

The bottle’s rotations started to slow until it came to a firm stop, clearly pointing at Dex. Shitty’s grin grew under his mustache, and as the group discussed potential dares, Shitty ignored their discussion in favor of raising his eyebrows at Dex and hollering, “How ‘bout it, Dexie-poo?”

 

Dex rolled his eyes. “Like hell, Shitty. Not with that goddamn caterpillar on your face.”

 

“Chill, man, Shits is an awesome kisser. I would know,” Nursey interjected from beside him, elbowing Dex in the kidney while Shitty continued to make an assortment of ridiculous expressions across the circle. Dex’s face heated up as the remainder of the team continued bickering over what a good dare could be.

 

Finally, Jack chirped up with the dare, “Streak through the LAX party and compliment all the LAX bros.”

 

With a loud gasp, Shitty stood up from his spot across the circle from Dex. “I would _gladly_ streak through that shithole, but compliment those meatheads? Over my dead body.”

 

He looked over to Dex with a determined look and yelled, “Pucker up, Poindexter!”

 

Dex barely had a moment to prepare himself before Shitty launched himself across the circle at him. He was pinned to the floor before he knew what was happening, Shitty’s lips on his, and suddenly he was one half of the most full-bodied kiss the Haus had ever seen.

 

And, _Oh_. Oh no, the mustache was actually fantastic, like Shitty had always claimed it was. Then there was Shitty’s hand that had somehow managed to snake its way behind Dex’s head in a move more protective than Dex would have ever expected of him. He encouraged Dex to kiss back, but didn’t push him, and that in itself was horrible, because Dex wasn’t supposed to like this. Having an itty-bitty crush on a teammate one one thing, but this, this feeling of want that was curling its way up his spine, this was not okay. A shiver racked through Dex’s body as Shitty licked along the seam of his lips, Dex dropping all pretenses of not being into this, surging forward into the kiss, neck straining in the effort to keep his head off the ground.

 

Their kiss must have lasted a while, because suddenly Nursey was clearing his throat and Bitty was red in the face. Lardo chuckled into her beer as Shitty scrambled back to his side of the circle, an uncharacteristic light blush spreading across his face. There was some soft laughter that broke up the awkward silence before the bottle was passed along to Lardo and Dex settled back upright from where he had been left sprawled across the floor.

 

As the bottle spun again, Dex’s attention wasn’t on the spinning glass. No, this time he was biting his lip, chasing the phantom pressure of Shitty’s lips pressed against his own, all the while gazing haphazardly across the circle trying to work out if the man in question was even half as affected by this as he was.

 

Surprisingly, Shitty was not watching the bottle spin, nor was he maintaining the nearly constant stream of conversation with Lardo like he had been all night. Instead, his eyes were locked with Dex’s until the cheers of their teammates drew them back to the game and to a stuttering Bitty.

 

“Kiss the Bits or...” Ransom looked over at Holster, hoping he had a world-rocking dare for their manager.

 

“Booty-call an NHL player!” Holster yelled, high-fiving Ransom.

 

“Where the hell do you think I’m getting an NHL player's number from? Like hold on for a moment, let me just get Crosby on speed dial!” Lardo exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air as she turned to look despondently at the high-fiving D-men.

 

“Bruh, you underestimate Jack’s weird-ass life.” Shitty nudged Jack until he sighed and handed over his phone.

 

Shitty typed in Jack’s password and began scrolling through his contacts.

 

“Let me know when you hear a player who is worthy of a Lardo Booty Call. Carey Price, Brendan Gallagher, Jamie Benn, Johnny Tavares, Mario Lemieux, Parse, oh hey, look! You do have Crosby.”

 

“Parse! I’m calling that Vegas motherfucker right now, hand me that phone.” Lardo cut Shitty off, holding her hand out, fingers twitching impatiently as she waited for him to hand it over.

 

“It’s gonna be the best damn booty call of that fucking wannabe frat boy’s life,” Ransom hollered while Holster pulled out his phone to video it.

 

“Beep beep, hello, yes, is this the Parse Booty? I am calling to speak to the #2 NHL booty?”

 

Shitty was already on his back from cackling too hard, but Ransom and Holster wasted no time in whooping and wolf-whistling towards Lardo.

 

Lardo rolled her eyes, but dropped her voice in a way that had Farmer dropping her head sideways against Chowder’s shoulder and Nursey muttering “wow,” into Dex’s ear.

 

“Anyway, Parse, what I’m saying is that if you’re in town and I’m in town, and you’re feeling bored, and, you know, maybe a little lonely, you’re welcome to call me because I’m always free...”

 

Someone yelled, “Get it,” while Holster and Ransom yet again chimed in with matching breathy moans of “Parse, Baby,” pretending to dramatically swoon as Jack rolled his eyes at them from across the circle.

 

“...to come over and beat your ass at beer pong. You’re welcome. Anyway, call me, you massive hockey nerd.”

 

Jack called over Shitty’s head, “Sorry, Parse!” as Lardo punched the end call button, dropping Jack’s phone onto the floor with a call of “drop mic” before bursting into a fit of giggles against Shitty’s side .

 

Minutes, or maybe hours later for all Dex knew, Nursey pushed the bottle in front of him. He elbowed Dex in the kidneys again, forcing him to break eye contact with Shitty across the circle. With a twist of his wrist, Dex sent the bottle into motion, watching as it spun, his heart lodged in his throat.

 

As his eyes followed the bottle’s rotations, he resolutely avoided eye contact with Shitty, determined not to even consider the possibility of it landing on him again. It wasn’t like Dex didn’t want to kiss Shitty again, it was that he wasn’t allowed to kiss Shitty again, couldn’t even allow himself to entertain the possibility of it happening. However, despite his best attempts at ignoring those thoughts, as the bottle started to slow, he couldn't help but quietly pray for it to stop in front of a certain team member.  

 

The bottle took its time slowing down, but Dex couldn’t tear his eyes away from the spinning glass for even a moment. This turn could go a lot of ways, and he didn’t let himself consider any of them until the bottle was moving at an achingly slow pace around the circle. If it didn’t land on Shitty, it might land on Bitty, and then Dex would have to hope for all he was worth that he could pick the dare over kissing his crush.

 

Then the bottle stopped on Shitty.

 

He flicked his eyes up to look at Shitty, finding him already staring right back. Dex’s stomach twisted in the most satisfying way before he leaned back to wait for the circle to decide on a dare. A few dares were thrown out, but Dex was shooting surreptitious glances towards Shitty. Instead of begging for an easy dare, now he almost wanted something unanswerable to be thrown his way so that he would have no other reasonable option than to kiss Shitty again.

 

Nursey sucked in a gasp and shot upright from where he had been resting backwards on his hands.

 

“Tell us who you’re crushing on.”

 

Dex and Nursey could never have the relationship Ransom and Holster had, and this was Exhibit A. One drunken stumble back to the dorms after a Haus party led to one mistaken confession by Dex over his crush on a certain Southern hockey player that Nursey had solemnly sworn to never mention again, just to pull it out as a dare in front of the rest of the team, in front of Bitty... in front of Jack, who had a protective streak for Bitty a mile wide.

 

While everyone around the circle whooped and jeered at Dex to spill, Dex side-eyed Shitty, who was smirking and getting comfortable.

 

“Really, Nurse?” Dex rolled his eyes to level a glare at his defense partner

 

“Hey, if you really don’t want to let us into that deep dark secret, you can always kiss Shits again, right, man?” Nursey waggled his eyebrows at Shitty, whose face split into a grin before he fired finger guns at Nursey.

 

“My lap is wide open for you, Dex!” Shitty hollered with a smirk.

 

“What part of ‘I want nothing to do with that mustache’ did you not get last time?” He crossed his arms and tried not to flush under Shitty’s gaze.

 

“Dude, I _know_ you want something to do with that mustache, because I have worn that exact same look on my face back at Andover.” Nursey nudged him with a smirk to match Shitty’s.

 

“‘Course you like facial hair, you stupid ass, I’m surprised you don’t have a beard of your own.” He glared and tried to ignore the heat rising to his face.

 

“Weak-ass chirp, man, just kiss him already, you know you want to.”

 

Dex spluttered and stumbled to his feet, slowly making his way across the circle to Shitty.

 

Shitty leaned around Dex to make eye contact with Nursey. “Thanks for the assist, bro!”

 

With a huff, Dex rolled his eyes and paused as if he was considering returning to his seat, but Shitty quickly tugged him down into his lap. Suddenly their faces were mere inches apart and Dex was straddling Shitty like they had done this a hundred times before. He could feel Shitty’s warm, beer-scented breath on his face, but he couldn’t even bring himself to be grossed out by the terrible smell when all of his focus was on Shitty’s hands gripping his hips, t-shirt riding up where his fingers met Dex’s skin.

 

Shitty’s mouth quirked up softly. “Hey.”

 

It was all too much for Dex; he could feel his face brightening to an unflattering shade of red as he fought the urge to pull away, to run and hide back on the other side of the circle. But if Dex was honest with himself, he wanted to kiss Shitty again, even without the threat of having to give up his crush on Bitty. He couldn’t deny who his thoughts had fixated on almost all evening as his nose bumped against Shitty’s on the way down before their lips pressed together softly.

  
  


It was softer than last time. Dex felt like he was sinking into the kiss, instead of being pulled into some weird consequence of a college game. This time was better.

 

Dex leaned forward and wound his arms behind Shitty so he could weave his hands through his hair. He knew, logically, people were still talking, because the Haus was never quiet, but he heard absolutely nothing at that point besides the soft noises coming from Shitty.

 

Shitty adjusted his grip and pulled Dex closer so there were only a handful of body parts between them that were not touching. In a moment of weakness, Dex might have moaned a bit into Shitty’s mouth, but he honestly wasn’t expecting Shitty to slide his hands up and down his sides. The ghosting touches sent a deep shiver down Dex’s spine and his light moan brought a smile to Shitty’s face.

 

Dex pulled back an inch to frown at Shitty because his smile had awkwardly brought their teeth together and honestly he was not one for teasing smiles in the middle of a kiss. But he opened his eyes to a faceful of Shitty not smiling teasingly up at him, but rather smiling genuinely and happily, just a breath away from him. His thumbs were gently tracing circles at the waistband of Dex’s jeans and his smile spread out under his mustache just a bit more before he pressed forward to pull Dex back in teeth lightly grazing against his lip.

 

There was a cheer somewhere outside of the realm of the two of them, but Dex couldn’t be bothered because Shitty chose that moment to bite softly on Dex’s lower lip. He sucked in a breath, and Shitty let his teeth drag off his lip ever so gently. Dex ducked his head and tried to mimic the lip biting, but Shitty just opened his mouth and pulled Dex more deeply into the kiss. If all he had to do was give up breathing to keep doing this forever, Dex would gladly forgo all breathing in the near future.

 

A hand pushed against Dex’s side and suddenly he was toppling sideways with Shitty still securely attached to him. He opened his eyes to see Jack looking down at the mess in his lap with a smile that always had a chirp close behind, and Shitty still grinning with his eyes slightly glazed over. A soft giggle drew Dex’s eyes up a bit, only to be tortured with the sight of Bitty sitting cross-legged, legs pressed against Jack’s. Not only were Bitty’s jeans too tight for him, but his lap was now at Dex’s eye-level and Dex was not sure if he was going to be able to look Bitty straight in the face anymore without a hard blush drowning out his freckles.

 

“Wanted to join us that badly, Jack?” Shitty turned his head into Jack’s crotch with a grin.

 

“Clearly. Get up, please?” Jack rolled his eyes and took a drink from his cup.

 

With a dramatic sigh, Shitty pulled Dex closer. “Do we have to? It’s so comfortable here!”

 

“We want to get on with the game, if that’s alright with you two?” Lardo cracked a grin, but Shitty was still not blushing.

 

With a soft chuckle, Shitty pushed himself off Jack’s lap, softly patting his inner thigh as he got up. Dex sort of panicked while he laid there, but before he could make any sort of definitive move, a large warm hand was pulling him up and out of Jack’s space.

 

He wasn’t really sure how he ended up this way, but he was suddenly turned around and facing the circle, which would be totally normal if he weren’t sitting in Shitty’s lap. On the back of his neck, he could feel Shitty’s warm breaths and the tickle of his mustache. One of Shitty’s unexpectedly large arms was wrapped around Dex’s torso, a warm hand settled unnecessarily low on his abdomen, fingers tapping mindlessly against his side.

 

Dex was about to open his mouth in protest--this was not part of Kiss or Dare, not in any version he has ever played--when Shitty loudly protested against the selfie Bitty had just snapped with Jack.

 

“Bits, why the fuck do you get to take all the cute selfies in this Haus?!” he huffed into Dex’s neck, making Dex blush even deeper than he already was. He hunched his shoulders up and tried not to draw any extra attention to his current position in the circle, especially after catching Nursey’s raised eyebrows in his direction.

 

“Dex, _brah_. We can totally take a cuter selfie than Bitty, right?”

 

Before Dex could even reply, Shitty had his free arm extended out in front of them and his phone already open to the camera app.

 

It didn’t take Dex more than a second to catch the red smattered high across Shitty’s cheeks, and the slightly blown out look in his pupils reflected onto the phone screen. The first selfie had Dex looking over at Shitty and Shitty blushing so hard he had to look at the floor.

 

Shitty looked at it and dropped his head against Dex’s shoulder. “Sorry, brah, try again?”

 

Dex laughed a bit, and slipped the phone out of Shitty’s hand. He made a face at the camera, while Shitty composed himself and made an obnoxious kissing face behind him, blushes still clearly coloring both their faces.

 

A small hand slipped between Shitty’s chest and Dex’s back and gently pushed Dex out of Shitty’s lap.

 

“Get back to your partner, Poindexter!” Lardo winked and nudged him again towards Nursey.

 

He stumbled over to the gap in the circle, keeping his head down in a horrible attempt to hide his blush. Nursey’s leg was apparently too close when Dex crossed his legs, so they ended up sitting pressed up against each other for the rest of the game. After the game had moved on and everyone else’s attention was on Jack, Nursey leaned over.

 

“Told ya.”

 

He shoved Nursey a bit, somehow managing to keep himself from nodding and grinning back at his partner. God, he could barely recognize himself, playing Kiss or Dare in a rundown frat house with a smattering of athletes, lips swollen from being kissed by his teammate. His _male_ teammate. And while earlier tonight Dex would have said that he was okay with the idea of liking boys, 9 months of being on the team surrounded by people who cared more about him as a person than his sexuality had impacted him in a way that he had never considered when he was a tadpole. Now Dex felt at peace with the idea, he had done it, kissed a boy twice and the world had yet to implode beneath him.

 

As the game wrapped up, something settled in Dex’s chest, Bitty dozing on Jack’s shoulder and Nursey ribbing Ransom softly beside him. He ducked his head and smiled softly to himself. Samwell was a good choice on paper, he knew that. But it wasn’t until just then that he realized it was the best choice he could have made for his life. He could breathe easier here. He could be himself, the self he had tried to ignore for the longest time. It was new and peaceful and... nice.

  


 

**Author's Note:**

> P.S. We did not drink responsibly while writing this. (We are however both over the legal drinking age kiddos)
> 
> Come chat with us on Tumblr @[betsytheoven](%E2%80%9Cbetsytheoven.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D) & @[jlzimmermann](%E2%80%9Djlzimmermann.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D)


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